|The death of our children at any age from any circumstance is indeed one of the cruelest blows that life has to offer. The journey through this grief is a very long, difficult and painful one for bereaved parents. In the early minutes, days, weeks, months and even years of grief, we find ourselves in an all consuming grief and pain beyond description. We find it difficult to carry on our everyday lives or to think of little except our children’s death. Even our once wonderfully happy memories, shared with our children while they lived, now bring us pain for a time.
Bereaved parents do not “get over” the death of our children nor “snap out of it.” It is not an illness or a disease from which we recover. It is a life altering change with which we must learn to live. We are forced to do the impossible: Build a new life and discover a “new normal” in a world that no longer includes our beloved children. Newly bereaved parents need to know that they will experience a wide and often frightening variety of intense feelings after the death of a child. Equally important to know and believe is that as much as you cannot possibly believe it now, you will not always feel this powerful and all consuming grief.
Right now you must follow the instincts of your soul and allow your bodies and hearts to grieve. The grief resulting from your child’s death cannot be skirted over, around or under. You must go through it in order to come out on the other side. Be gentle and patient with yourself and your family. Allow yourself to cry, to grieve and to retell your children’s story as often as needed and for as long as you need to. Eventually you will smile and find joy again. You will never forget your child; they will be with you in your heart and memories for as long as you live.
THE COMPASSIONATE FRIENDS OF SOUTHERN NEVADA
Marcia Smith and Darla Thompson
Meetings are the 2nd Wednesday of each month at 7 pm at 1125 Nevada State Dr., Room 103, in Henderson at the Nevada State College Campus. 702-289-8311.
Until next month, stay safe!
John Chase can be reached via his e-mail address at Jchase@bcnv.org.